Thursday, December 26, 2019
Heres proof that happiness doesnt come from achievement
Heres proof that happiness doesnt come from achievementHeres proof that happiness doesnt come from achievementWhen I was a teenager, I thought the moment I achieved Gladiator status in the World of Warcraft, I would be fulfilled and forever happy.I became one of the highest ranked World of Warcraft players in North America and got extremely depressed. It wasnt enough.When I started bodybuilding, I thought as soon as I hit 160 lbs, I would be happy. Satisfied. Done.I hit 160 lbs and decided I needed to be 165 lbs in order to be happy.I hit 165 lbs and decided I needed to be 170 lbs in order to be happy.I hit 170 lbs and decided I needed to be 175 lbs in order to be happy.See? Look how happy I am here I still felt small.It wasnt enoughWhen I was right out of college, I thought, If only I was making $100 mora dollars a month, then I would feel more comfortable. Then I would be happy.I started making $100 dollars more a month. It wasnt enough. So I thought, Oh, well if only I was making $200 dollars more a month Then, then I would be happy.I started making $200 dollars more a month. It wasnt enough.This continued on for quite a while until I had literally tripled my income and still, still, STILL felt like it wasnt enough.When I first started working on my book, Confessions of a Teenage Gamer, I thought, The reason this is so difficult is because its elend perfect. Once I write it this way, Ill think its perfect and then Ill be happy.I wrote the first draft. 400-some pages. It wasnt perfect. I threw it away. I thought, Hmm Well, thats because it wasnt perfect enough. It needs to be more perfect. It needs to be better.So I started again.Wrote another full draft. From scratch. 400-some pages. It wasnt perfect. I threw it away. Hmm Well thats because it wasnt perfect enough It needs to be more perfect, more perfect than perfect.So I started again.I wrote ANOTHER full draft. From scratch. 400-some pages. It took me 5 years to realize that perfect was not a real thing . It didnt exist. I was asking it to be something it could never be.There is no such thing as perfect.When I got ready to publish it, I thought, Ok, once its published, then Ill feel happy. Then Ill feel fulfilled.I published my book. I still wanted more.It was then that I realized two thingsFirst Its ok to want more. As humans, we are goal-setters. We are always looking for the next mountain to conquer. There is something wonderful about that experience, the exploration of life. And its not about suppressing it, but rather understanding it.Which leads to Second Nothing will ever be enough, as long as you are looking to the thing to fulfill you.I have climbed many mountains. For a 28-year-old, I have climbed more mountains than I can even comprehend.To those that know me, and look from the outside, every so often they reveal their true thoughts. You intimidate me, Cole. You have accomplished so muchCan I let you in on a little secret?99% of the time, I feel like I havent accomplishe d a damn thing.One of the most difficult things I have had to confront in my own life has been this, right here. This idea that no mountain, trophy, reward, title, battle won, or achievement will ever, ever, ever be enough.Because the true feeling of happiness, contentment, joy, and the ability to be at ease with yourself comes from within.You could be standing on Mount Everest and feel like a worthless failure.And you could be sitting in your room with your fingers in a bunch of paint while you scoop a glob of red into your palm and smear it all over a bunch of newspaper on your floor and feel completely in the moment - happy.It doesnt matter what you do in life. It doesnt matter what the achievement is, or what industry youre in, or what your passions are, or what road you travel.Trust me, Ive tried a lot of themI thought gaming was the problem, so I moved to fitness.I thought fitness was the problem, so I moved to business.I thought business was the problem, so I moved to, etc. Its not the thing - its the way you do it. Its the relationship you have with yourself along the way. Its the ability to walk your path, each and every day, and enjoy the process of wherever it is youre going.But as long as you think its all going to be wonderful and perfect at the end, you will always be unsatisfied.There is no end.Thanks for reading ??This article originally appeared on Medium.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.